February 21, 2016: His Most Important Birthday

I know... I've been so busy getting ready for the new baby, and helping my husband getting settled with his new job, I'm behind on my posting. Duncan has been doing great the past couple weeks. I did do one stupid thing though, a week ago I was getting his insulin to him in the morning. Duncan takes his Lantus first thing in the morning, so like always I woke up, grabbed two syringes and went to the fridge to pull out his two vials of insulin. First, his Lantus, because that's his 24 hour and has to be taken at the same time everyday. I drew it out as normal, flicked the syringe to get the bubbles to the top like the nurses showed me on day one in the hospital, and then I picked up the vial and pushed the excess insulin into the vial like I was supposed to, just to find out I put the excess Lantus INTO the Apidra vial! I had to throw the Apidra away and start a new one all over again. I felt really stupid, mainly because I've read many stories where people who have struggled with type one for years mix up their insulin, and I've thought, "Really? How could you do that? you've had this illness for like 20 years and you mixed up the insulins? I've been dealing with it for like 5 months and haven't made that mistake!" To all those people I have thought that about I'm so sorry, I got cocky.

This past week has been a very emotional week for me. Duncan was born on the 22nd of February, and as we got closer to his second birthday the thoughts kept coming that we almost didn't have a birthday to celebrate. The reality of what we have been dealing with for the past 5 months hit me hard, and the pregnancy hormones didn't help. I almost lost my boy. This was the most important birthday I would ever celebrate, because it really was a celebration of life. His life. He has only been on this earth for two short years, but in those years he has turned our life upside down and inside out. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost my Duncan.

The biggest question is... What do I do about a birthday cake? I called around to all the bakeries I could find in our area and asked them if they made Sugar Free birthday cakes. They all said "No". My step-mom texted me, "Have you tried Baskin Robbins? An ice cream cake would be fun." So I got on the phone and called and sure enough they could make me a regular cake, but put Less Sugar ice cream in it. That sounded reasonable, after all I was told I didn't HAVE to go sugar free, but I SHOULD go sugar free when possible. I talked it over with them, and found out that an ice cream cake with less sugar ice cream would cost around $45, and that's just for feeding 6-8 people. WHAT! Off to Wal*Mart to find something I could use. Now, I love to bake. I love to decorate cakes and I love birthdays! I show up at Wal*Mart and they have a "Sugar Free Section" in their baking section. I find a "Sugar Free" Angel Food Cake. Whoo Hoo! Then I get a call from my step-Mom, "Jen, I just saw online that Wal*Mart sells sugar free icing in their baking section. I think it's Betty Crocker." I ask the baker behind the counter, "If we have it, it'll be in the baking isle with the cake mix." I went over and sure enough there it was!

I also got some no sugar added ice cream because Wal*Mart has the best selection.

I filled the middle of the Angel Food Cake, and made my own ice cream cake. It cost me half as much to do so and it tasted good too. I cheated this year by buying his cake when normally I would bake it, but next year I know what I'll be doing for him.

He loved it, and the rest of the family was happy to go sugar free for his birthday as well. It's been a very emotional week, and I made it through. My baby turns 2, and he's healthy and perfect... That's really all I can ask for. I thank God every day for that little boy, and I'm grateful he listened when my husband and I prayed for him to be alright. We're adjusting and taking control. Next step... Potty Training!

January 24, 2016: My Diabetic Tool Kit

As a parent, when your child is born, you look down at that small little face and you can see the entire world resting in your arms. You look at that child and all you can do is imagine the life their going to have. Who are they going to be? Of course we all think our kid is going to be the next biggest thing and they're going to change the world. I started having contractions with Duncan at 4:30 in the morning. My husband did not want to go to work that day he wanted to stick around and get me to the hospital. I told him he only worked 7 minutes away, I would be fine but to make sure he had someone to take over when I called him. My contractions came closer and closer, and I called my parents who were living 2 miles down the street. They came up picked up my other two boys, and took me down to their house where I met my husband and he rushed me to the hospital. My water broke on the I-15 northbound freeway, and we were about 5 minutes from the hospital when Duncan started crowning, he was almost born in the car on the side of the road. Thanks to all the lights being green, and my husband's safe driving we made it to the hospital just in time for me to get into a bed, and deliver our perfect baby boy.

When I looked down at the precious face, I knew he was going to be a force to be reckoned with when he got older. All we want for our children even if they end up working at a gas station their entire life is that they are happy, and healthy. I know Ted Bundy's mom didn't look down at him as a baby and say "I just know you are going to be one of the world's most infamous serial killers" she wanted him to be a force to be reckoned with. I never thought my boy would end up with an illness that would change all of our entire lives.

Last week we were all sick. We all (except my husband who has the immune system of Superman) had this croupy gross cough that went through the entire family. Duncan's blood sugars were scary high! At one point I went to check his blood glucose and his meter just read "HI". In the middle of the day he would have scary lows, in the 42 to the 50 range. When most kids get sick you just give them plenty of liquids, and make sure they get plenty of sleep. What do you do when you're diabetic son gets sick? I can't give him juice when he throws up anymore to keep sugar in his system, and I have to make sure he's eating at least enough carbs to give him 1/2 a unit of insulin...

This is my diabetic tool kit. Everything I need to keep with me wherever I go. I checked him for keytones again when he was really high, still nothing, and made sure he had plenty of juice when he had a low. 

We all know how hard it is to get a toddler to eat. Most moms have the luxury of saying "ok I guess you're just not hungry right now, you can eat later." I can't do that with Duncan, I have to make sure he eats at least something. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth, and sometimes all he want's to do is eat. I know as he gets older he'll understand more why I have to make him eat something, and he'll understand more why I have to give him 4 shots a day to keep him alive. Yes you read that right, Duncan gets 4 shots a day. One for his 24 hour insulin and one at every meal. If he ends up eating a snack that is 10 carbs or over he has to have another shot. So on average Duncan gets 4 shots a day, 28 shots a week, 112 shots a month 1,460 shots a year. That is not even counting all the finger pricks he gets everyday to check his sugar levels. 

It really is awful when my boy isn't feeling well. There's not a lot I can do but let him ride it out. I can't give him much medicine unless it's sugar free, and it's frustrating when his glucose isn't stable. He gets really clingy which is normal for a toddler, so we got to spend the morning last Sunday watching "Hercules" on Netflix.