Adeline

When Duncan was first diagnosed, we treated him as if he were fragile. For a month or so, I was getting my bearings and trying to come to what was now our reality.... now Duncan's reality. I will admit, there was a time I got in my truck to go pick up my 5 year old from kindergarten, and I cried the entire 15 minute drive to the school. I got there a little early, and cried until I saw my son's class come out to meet the parents. That was the only time I really let go and the seriousness of Duncan's condition sank in. My son is diabetic, I kept telling myself. He's not even 2 and he will now have at least 4 shots a day for the rest of his life. He will have midnight scares, and I may never really get a full night's sleep again. Will he be able to serve a mission? If he does will he have to stay in the states? Will he pass this on to is kids? I had so many questions about his future, it was overwhelming. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone about it really. I told everyone I was fine, and dealing which I was, and I would tell them Duncan's story about how we found out about his condition. I tell them the technical stuff, not the personal toll it took on me and my boys. I don't talk about how his older brothers weren't sure how to treat him once we got home. I don't talk about crying in my car when I thought about almost losing him. I don't talk about the stress it put on my family, and how we were afraid he would break if we let him go outside. I didn't go anywhere alone with my boys for almost 2 months. I was afraid if I did, I would forget something important.

Once we got over the initial shock of his diagnosis, and we got over the thoughts that if we made one little mistake he could end up in the hospital again, we started to get our lives back in order. Duncan noticed the difference in how he was being treated though and he took advantage of the situation. He became a strong willed, spoiled little boy, who thought he could get away with everything if he just smiled. Take right now for example. I say it's nap time, he's decided he's not tired so he's up and running around his room, yelling at his brothers outside because he thinks I can't hear him. There were many times i forgot I was pregnant with baby #4. When you only see the doctor every 4 weeks, and the baby is pretty mellow and doesn't move a lot, its really easy to forget. We found out in November baby #4 was a girl. After 3 boys I didn't know what I was going to do with a girl. March 11, 2016 she entered into our world and once again our family was turned upside down. I was able to leave my boys with my parents without the worry of Duncan ending up with really high highs, or really low lows, and Craig (my husband) was able to take care of things while I was in the hospital.

I wasn't worried about Cyrus and Caleb as much as Duncan when it came to the new baby. Cyrus has had 2 babies come home, and Caleb has had 1, they've been through this before. Duncan has not... and like I said he's been a little spoiled. Craig brought the boys to the hospital to meet their new sister, and I fully prepared myself for a tantrum from Duncan. He's only 2 and he is now no longer the baby. When Cyrus was 2 and Caleb was born, he came in saw his new baby brother and stomped around trying to slam things. Craig couldn't stay for more than 10 minutes because of the tantrum Cyrus was throwing. I expected nothing less from Duncan. Craig came in with all three boys, Cyrus' face lit up and he asked if he could hold the baby. Caleb started giggling and asked if he could hold the baby, and then there was Duncan... he walked over and tried to climb on my bed by himself, so daddy helped him, and he crawled over to the baby in my arms, lifted his little hand and started stroking her cheek. He looked up at me and smiled, and then tried to sit on my lap while she was nursing. He is so gentle with her it amazes me. Every child is different, I know that better than anyone. Cyrus is my bossy 7 year old who thinks he knows how the world works already, Caleb is my mouthy 5 year old who wants to be in charge of his own destiny, but still lets his big brother call the shots, and Duncan is my explorer who won't think twice about jumping in a mud puddle just to see how deep it is, and if his shoes really will get wet after I've told him "no" countless times. They're all different, but Duncan amazes me when it comes to his sister. He doesn't try to hit her, or hurt her. When she's crying he looks at me very seriously and says "Mommy Baby!" and if he's in the room when she's crying he tries to comfort her with a blanket or a stuffed animal. He is a natural big brother, and I don't worry for one minute about their relationship. I know the two of them are going to be best friends. I know he'll tease her and pull her hair, I know she'll scream and tell on him every chance she gets, but there is a special bond between the two of them. I'm excited to see it grow, and mature throughout the years.