My Reality

"My son is 2 years old, and he has type one diabetes." I have said this to myself everyday since he was diagnosed last September. I've come to accept this is who he is, this is who I am, a mother of a diabetic, this is who our family is. We as a family cope with the idea of Duncan's disease. Cyrus and Caleb have adjusted pretty well to carb counting, and using a food scale weigh out his portions. They've adjusted to waiting to eat until sugar is checked, and juice is administered, and they're starting to adjust to sugar free treats or low carb snacks. We as a family have become Blood Warriors!

Every once in a while, if we go out to eat I will pull out Duncan's meter to check his sugar level. Most people ask me questions about how we found out about his "condition", or what it's like... but every once in a while I'll get an ignorant comment from someone who doesn't know anything about what Duncan is going through. There are people out there who think, that because their mom, or grandma had type 2 then they know all about the disease. That's when the harsh comments come into play.

I have had perfect strangers tell me I'm a bad mom. "If my child were that young, or that small I wouldn't give him sugar... it's your fault!" Now, I know that's not true, so I take it in my stride. I smile and say "actually sugar has nothing to do with it. His pancreas just doesn't produce insulin anymore." I'm never afraid to share Duncan's story with them, most of the time people with the nasty comments just walk away with a mean look on their face.

I try not to "educate" people about my son's condution, but there are so many people who know nothing of what I go through everyday just to keep my toddler safe and alive. When I hear my boys get up at 6:30 a.m. I hold my breath every morning and listen for Duncan. I my mind I say a silent prayer "please wake up this morning" this is my reality. I checked him last night, his sugar was 134, but there's always that possibility it dropped late into the night, and I wake up to a dead child. This is my reality... When I hear a CRASH and my 7 year old scream "DUNCAN!" I know he's up and crashing around. I can breath again.

I recently read a friends blog, where she bore her testimony about God's plan. As I was reading I realized how amazing our Father in Heaven is, and how He has a plan for all of us. I may not know what His plan is for our family, or my Duncan but I do have faith He is with us every step of the way.